A Blueberry Girl

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Unofficially, official.

September 8

I’m fresh off a heartbreak. I ask that you excuse this overly dramatic post – it’s currently helping me formalize my thoughts and sort through my feelings, I do apologize if it bums you out. You have been warned.

I gathered my things when he was away, sent a cowardly text and told him it’d be best this way. I wanted to have an adult conversation about it, I planned on sitting him down and pouring myself out on the table; all my thoughts, all my fears, all my desires. We were in this relationship for over a year, you think it would’ve been easy. I failed, several times. What started as a casual hookup transpired into something I would’ve never imagined. There were things I avoided telling him this past weekend, text messaging only got me so far. I don’t think I’ll have another opportunity to express myself so I figured I’d share with you all, because why not? If I could face him now, this is what I’d say.

I’ve had this conversation in my head several dozen times. I don’t know where to start or how to start and I’m sorry if this is coming out like word vomit. I was a bad friend to you and for that I’m sorry. I wasn’t entirely honest when you asked me to tell you what went on in my head. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to tell you exactly how I felt whenever I felt it. I was scared; scared to see your reaction, scared to put extra pressure on whatever we had. I wanted you to continue to spend time with me, I didn’t want my insecurities to start impacting how you thought of me. I’m just like any other girl you’ve been with, I want what they want. In fact, I want more.

I loved what we had. I loved the way you smiled at me, loved how you’d pull me closer when I tried to get out of bed, I loved how you kissed my forehead to wake me up some mornings. I loved how our feet would always seem to find each other under all the blankets.

I never told you this, but part of me loved you.

I never mentioned it because I know that you’d never love me the same way. Your heart would never fully belong to me and I struggled with that concept. Every kiss I stole, every time I’d hold your hand, hug you from behind, every time I ran my fingers through your hair and watched you fall asleep – I did it out of love. I’ve told you before, I wanted all of you.

I understand that it’s not entirely possible given our predicament. It’s not fair for me to ask this of you. You’ve given me enough, you’ve helped me through the hardest part of my life. For that, I’m externally grateful. So this is where we go our separate ways. I don’t think you’ll ever really understand how difficult it was for me. I hoped for more, prayed for more but I get that sometimes things just don’t work out. Let things organically transpire, you’d tell me; it could’ve been my impatience and/or my insecurities but I just couldn’t risk the rest of my heart. I really hope that one day our paths cross again and maybe then we’ll both be in a better place.

& that my friends is how I roll – loving hard ’till I can’t love no more.

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ablueberrygirl_Christine Anne@ablueberrygirl_·
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A Blueberry Girl; To all the girls I love #lifestyleblogger #LAblogger

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Just posted a photo @ Glendale Peak Trail https://www.instagram.com/p/CJbb_oelFIZ/?igshid=8h0rrppsyf7c

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idillionaireIdil Ahmed@idillionaire·
28 Dec

What you focus on is manifesting.

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It's been months since I've felt compelled to writ It's been months since I've felt compelled to write. I was organizing my photos and the moment I saw this one - I knew I wanted to share it.

I didn't know what I wanted to share. I just wanted to express how much I adored her because I loved her so, so, SO deeply. As I sat in front of my notebook, I scribbled all the things I could remember; I cried because of what I remembered and cried because I knew there were some things that were no longer in my memory.

Excerpt from my latest post -
"Things I do remember – 
she was strong, 
she was independent, 
she was selfless 
and she was so incredibly feisty. (you didn’t see that coming, did you?) 
She ALWAYS HAD SOMETHING TO SAY; 
warranted or not, she would tell you exactly what she thought."

If you'd like to read the full post, visit my blog

♡ Link in my bio
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#caliblogger #inspire #LAblogger #filipinablogger #bloggersofinstagram #lifestylebloggers #bloggingbabes #bloggerunder1k
If you watch my stories, you know that I post A LO If you watch my stories, you know that I post A LOT about @enzothejindo . Since we've adopted him, he's been by my side approximately 94.8% of the time; when we go on walks, when I nap, even when I'm in the bathroom - he likes to make sure I don't fall into the toilet. 

He is the best decision I've made in my life, the ABSOLUTE BEST - if you're thinking about finding a dog companion, please consider adopting. There are so many wonderful organizations out here, one will fit your needs, I'm sure of it ❤

#dogsofinstagram #jindosofinstagram #jindomix #adoptdontshop #LAblogger #lifestyleblog #bloggerlife
Things feel uncertain right now. Please make sure Things feel uncertain right now.
Please make sure you take some time for yourself & disconnect from the media cover when you need to.
Sending some love 💘  because you might need a little extra today.

#voteforchange #election2020
Working from home has had its challenges. Social d Working from home has had its challenges.
Social distancing from family & friends isn't ideal; necessary, but not ideal.
2020, in general, has not been ideal BUT I can honestly say I've found comfort in those who have remained close to me - figuratively not literally. 

I hope that you're able to find some happiness during these times! Find happiness in something you love to do, something you've always wanted to do but haven't had the time, people you've been able to reconnect with or those whose relationships have been strengthened during these times 💙

Also, here's a random picture of  me taking pictures of @_lomeli_22

📸 : @c.vmbr

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#photographers #photographerlife #photographeramateur #LAblogger #blogger #lifestyle #vsco #vscocam #lifestyleblogger #bloglovin #socalstyle #instadaily #dailygrind #tgif
Today is #worldmentalhealthday . I usually think i Today is #worldmentalhealthday . I usually think it's laughable - all the different "days" that come about. There's seemingly a day for everything; a donut day, dog day, sibling day, there's even a coffee day.. their sole purpose is to give each of us an opportunity to find the perfect shot &share how we're somehow connected to what is currently trending...⠀
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Today is different, today is important. Today we should all try to connect to what is trending. There's so many of us (myself included) who continually suffer from some form of mental illness; some of us suffer in silence; some of us suffer without even knowing; some of us suffer & are too afraid to ask for help.⠀
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“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.”⠀
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-Robin Williams⠀
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So in observance to today, I want you to reach out so someone you care about & simply ask them "Are you okay?" ⠀
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Always be kind to one another, you never know what someone is struggling with...⠀
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I knew I wanted to adopt Enzo (formally Buddy) the I knew I wanted to adopt Enzo (formally Buddy) the moment I saw how disproportionate he was. I thought it was adorable how he was a mini-sized Jindo; a life-sized Scrappy-Doo!⠀
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For those who aren't familiar, the Jindo breed originates from South Korea. Enzo was saved from a dog-meat farm by @dove_project . 
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It was through their organization that I was able to meet Enzo & my life was forever changed 💝

If you're interested in adopting I urge you to visit their page - you won't be disappointed!

#jindosofinstagram #nationaldogday #adoptdontshop🐾
A Blueberry Girl Re-Introduced.⠀ ⠀ I'm a bit l A Blueberry Girl Re-Introduced.⠀
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I'm a bit late on this but here we are. For those of you who don't know, A Blueberry Girl started as a passion project. I loved being able to see my vision come to fruition; building it, designing, writing & the process of creating - it all helped me heal.⠀
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Two years later the focus is less about healing and more about self-love. I've taken some time to reflect on what my goals are, what I envision my life to be & what is truly important.⠀
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Let's all continue this journey together 💙⠀
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#LAblogger #blogger #californiablogger #caliblogger #socalstyle
Challenge accepted 💫 There's no better reason Challenge accepted 💫

There's no better reason to revisit my @ablueberrygirl_ page than to help empower other women! Let's continue to build one another up & make more room at the table so we all have a seat.

@teaandreverie thank you for thinking of me 💋

#womenempowerment #womensupportingwomen #girlpower
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