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To all the girls I love

As February closes out, I thought it would be fitting to end with a devotional post to all the girls I love. In fact, I’m a huge fan of continually expressing love to those closest to you.

My advice: don’t wait for a specific day, don’t wait until the next time you see them – tell them you love them, show them today.

Show them before too much time passes, because as they say, tomorrow is never guaranteed.

I say this because lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my grandma. She passed away about 10 years ago and even now, it hurts to think of her.

I tease my mom every time she does something my grandma used to do but secretly, I love it. It’s a subtle reminder of how things were when she was still with us. Sometimes I find myself desperately trying to remember how she sounded, what she smelled like, and that feeling when she half smelled + half kissed me. Sometimes, I’m afraid I’m forgetting her.

Things I do remember – she was strong, she was independent, she was selfless and she was so incredibly feisty. (you didn’t see that coming, did you?) She ALWAYS HAD SOMETHING TO SAY; warranted or not, she would tell you exactly what she thought. She always cooked enough to feed a small army and never measured anything and her love for her family was undeniable. She was an incredible woman.

Christine's grandma

A lot of who I am today is because of her and it saddens me that she hasn’t been able to see it.

I guess when you lose someone, you always have some regrets but she knew I loved her, there are no regrets in that aspect. I guess I just wished she knew how much. I wished I had told her more often, given her more hugs, laid with her more, I wished I watched more Filipino teleseryes with her.

So since I have the time and I have the platform – I wanted to take a moment to express my love for all the strong, independent, selfless, absolutely incredible women in my life. I’ve been challenged with my share of heartbreaks but I’ve never had a shortage in friendships.

To every single one of you –

Thank you for sharing your life with me. Thank you for loving me unconditionally; for loving me when I had forgotten how to love myself. For reminding me of my worth as often as I needed to hear it; for opening up your home to me and letting me stay with you and your family when I didn’t want to go home.

I appreciate all the times you’d sit with me on the phone as I cried. I love you for crying with me. Thank you for keeping me company when I didn’t want to be alone. Thank you for telling me it was time to walk away; for telling me I’d be okay. Thank you for all the hugs and for the housewarming gift (I’m sorry, the plant died but I’m still using the pot) Thank you for always wanting the best for me, for always believing in me and my creativity. Thank you for encouraging me to write, to take photos, to create.

Thank you for all the text messages, for laughing at my jokes and for continuously being my cheerleader, my therapist, and my best friend all simultaneously.

Because of you, I’ve overcome things I thought I never would. I’ve been able to heal and learn to love again. I’ve kept my sanity and continued to work on myself – both mentally, physically, and spiritually. I’ve been able to re-discover my relationship with Jehovah and strengthen my faith in Him.

With you by my side, I’ve been able to find myself.

I’m sorry if I don’t tell you enough but I love you.

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